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Sometimes it’s not about finding the perfect thing

Sometimes it’s not about finding the perfect thing to say.

It’s about changing the conversation just enough to help a child feel safe, understood, and supported. 💜

A few tiny swaps can make a BIG difference:

❌ “Calm down.”
💜 “I can see this feels really big right now. I’m here.”

❌ “You’re fine.”
💜 “I can see why that felt hard.”

❌ “Stop crying.”
💜 “It’s okay to cry. I’ll stay with you while your body settles.”

❌ “Why did you DO that?!”
💜 “Tell me what was happening right before that happened.”

❌ “Use your words.”
💜 “It looks like you’re having trouble finding the words. Want me to help?”

Because sometimes the behavior we’re seeing isn’t defiance.

Sometimes they’re overwhelmed.

Sometimes they don’t have the language yet.

Sometimes they’re embarrassed.

Sometimes their body is reacting faster than their brain can problem-solve.

And sometimes they simply need an adult who communicates:

You’re safe.
I’m listening.
Your feelings make sense.
You’re not alone.
We’ll figure this out together. ❤️

This doesn’t mean there are no boundaries or consequences.

It means we create connection before correction so kids are actually able to hear what comes next.

And no, you won’t say the “right” thing every single time. None of us will. The goal isn’t perfect language. It’s being willing to get curious, connect, and try again. 💜

📌 SAVE this carousel for the next time you’re standing there thinking, “Okay... what do I say NOW?” 😂

💬 Which phrase do you catch yourself saying the most? Or what would you add to the list?

#SchoolCounselor #SchoolCounseling #ElementaryCounselor #CounselorLife #ChildBehavior #EmotionalRegulation #BigFeelings #CounselingTips #ConnectionBeforeCorrection #ElementaryEducation

COUNSELOR CONFESSIONS. 😂👇 There are things that f

COUNSELOR CONFESSIONS. 😂👇

There are things that feel completely normal when you work in a school...

...that would sound absolutely UNHINGED if you tried to explain them to someone with a regular office job. 😂

Like:

✂️ Spending your lunch cutting out 47 tiny coping-skill tacos.

🧸 Having a very serious conversation while holding a stuffed animal.

🌈 Owning more fidgets than actual office supplies.

🚪 Hiding behind your closed door because you just need THREE MINUTES to finish one email.

🎲 Looking at literally any object and thinking, “I could turn this into a counseling activity.”

And don't even get me started on the laminator. 😂

So, school counselors...

I want your confession.

👇 What is something you do at work that would make ABSOLUTELY ZERO SENSE to someone outside of a school?

Bonus points if you give us absolutely NO context. 😂

Tag a counselor friend because I have a feeling the comments on this one are going to make us all feel very seen. 💜

#SchoolCounselor #SchoolCounseling #CounselorLife #ElementaryCounselor #SchoolCounselors #CounselorHumor #CounselingOffice #ElementarySchool

We spend a lot of time teaching kids how to recogn

We spend a lot of time teaching kids how to recognize friendship 🚩 RED FLAGS...

But do they know what the GREEN FLAGS look like? 💚

Sometimes kids know exactly what they shouldn't tolerate in a friendship, but have a much harder time describing what a healthy friendship should actually feel like.

So let's teach them what to look FOR. 👀

A healthy friendship might look like:

💚 I can be myself around you.
💚 You can be happy for me, even when you're disappointed for yourself.
💚 I can say “no” or ask for space without worrying that you'll stop being my friend.
💚 We can disagree and still care about each other.
💚 We can apologize, repair, and move forward when someone gets hurt.
💚 We can BOTH have other friends.
💚 I usually feel accepted, supported, and comfortable after we're together.

And this one is BIG:

A healthy friendship isn't a friendship without conflict.

Kids will disagree. Feel jealous. Get annoyed. Hurt each other's feelings. Make mistakes.

The green flag is what happens afterward.

Can we talk about it?
Can we listen?
Can we respect a boundary?
Can we take responsibility?
Can we repair?

Instead of only teaching kids how to spot unhealthy friendships, let's give them a picture of what they deserve to experience in healthy ones. 💜

💬 What friendship GREEN FLAG would you add to this list?

👇 Tell me in the comments. I’d love to build an even bigger list!

📌 Save this for your next friendship lesson, and share it with someone who works with kids.

#SchoolCounselor #SchoolCounseling #ElementaryCounselor #FriendshipSkills #HealthyFriendships #CounselingActivities #SocialSkills #ElementaryEducation #CounselorLife #KidsEmotions

School attendance concerns can feel SO complicated

School attendance concerns can feel SO complicated. 💜

You notice the absences adding up, but simply telling a student, “You need to come to school,” usually isn't enough.

Because before we can improve attendance, we need to understand what's getting in the way.

🏠 Family responsibilities
😟 Anxiety or emotional challenges
🩺 Health concerns
👥 Social difficulties
🚗 Transportation issues
💔 Feeling disconnected from school

That's why I created my 6-Week Student Attendance Small Group Curriculum.

Instead of focusing on consequences, students work through the skills and conversations that can actually support change, including:

✨ Understanding why attendance matters
✨ Identifying their individual barriers
✨ Building motivation
✨ Setting realistic attendance goals
✨ Problem solving
✨ Creating better attendance habits

Because sometimes improving attendance isn't about convincing a student to care.

It's about figuring out the WHY and helping them build a path forward. 💜

Want to see the entire 6-week curriculum?

👇 Comment ATTEND and I'll send you the link!

Save this post too, because attendance concerns have a way of showing up right when you need an intervention ready to go. 📌

We teach kids SO many coping skills. 🧠 Deep breat

We teach kids SO many coping skills. 🧠

Deep breathing.
Count to 10.
Take a break.
Positive self-talk.
Go for a walk.

And then the moment they actually NEED one...

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!” 😩

Here’s the thing: knowing a coping skill and being able to access it when emotions are BIG are two very different things.

Kids don’t necessarily need a longer list of strategies.

They need a few strategies that are:

💜 Familiar
🧠 Easy to remember
❤️ Meaningful to THEM
🔁 Practiced before they’re needed

One of my favorite shifts is changing:

❌ “What coping skill should you use?”

to...

💬 “What helps YOUR body feel calmer?”

Now we’re not asking kids to remember the “right” answer. We’re helping them figure out what actually works for them.

And if we want those strategies to stick?

Make them memorable.

Draw them. ✏️
Act them out. 🎭
Play with them. 🎲
Practice them. 🔁
Create something. ✂️
Make it a little weird. 😂

That idea is exactly why I created Stratacheese. 🍕🧀

Kids get to explore coping strategies and create their own pizza filled with strategies they can actually use.

Because the goal isn't for kids to KNOW the most coping skills.

It's for them to remember the ones that work when they need them. 💜

🍕 Want to check out Stratacheese?

Comment CHEESE below 👇 and I’ll DM you the link to the full activity on TpT!

📌 Save this carousel for the next time you’re teaching coping skills.

Sometimes anger is just the tip of the iceberg. 🧊❤

Sometimes anger is just the tip of the iceberg. 🧊❤️

We see the yelling.
The arguing.
The shutting down.
The refusal.
The tears.
The “I DON'T CARE!”

But underneath that anger might be...

😔 Hurt
❤️ Sadness
😰 Fear
🌀 Stress
⚡ Frustration
⭐ Shame

And if we only respond to the behavior we can SEE, we might completely miss what the child is actually trying to communicate.

Instead of immediately asking:

“Why are you acting like this?”

Try getting curious about what's underneath:

💬 “That seemed really upsetting. What happened?”
💬 “What were you feeling right before you got angry?”
💬 “Did something hurt your feelings?”
💬 “What do you need right now?”

We don't have to excuse hurtful or unsafe behavior to recognize that behavior is communication.

Sometimes understanding what's underneath is exactly what helps us teach kids what to do differently next time. 💜

📌 Save this infographic for your next conversation about anger, and tag an educator, counselor, or parent who works with kids experiencing big emotions!

Sometimes the best counseling activities are the o

Sometimes the best counseling activities are the ones that are just a little weird. 😂🍕

Because telling a child, “Remember to use a coping strategy when you’re angry” is one thing.

Helping them create their own PIZZA full of strategies they can actually see, remember, and use? That tends to stick. 🙌

That’s exactly why I created Stratacheese! 🧀🍕

This hands-on activity helps kids explore what actually works for THEM when big feelings show up.

Instead of simply giving students a list of calming strategies, they get opportunities to:

🧠 Build self-awareness
💜 Explore different coping strategies
🍕 Choose strategies that work for them
💬 Talk through real-life situations
🌱 Practice making healthy choices
✂️ Create something they can keep and reference later

And because it involves pizza, coloring, cutting, creating, and some silliness?

They’re usually MUCH more interested in talking about coping skills. 😉

The full Stratacheese resource includes 6 posters, a conversation cube, 45 situation cards, the pizza + pizza box craftivity, an activity sheet, an exit ticket, and both color and black-and-white options.

Use it for individual counseling, small groups, classroom lessons, calm-down spaces, morning meetings, or anywhere you’re helping kids build a bigger coping-skills toolbox.

🍕🧀 Want to check out Stratacheese?

Comment CHEESE below 👇 and I’ll DM you the link!

📌 Save this post for the next time you need a coping-skills activity kids will actually be excited to do.

👀 We teach kids how to make friends... but are we

👀 We teach kids how to make friends... but are we teaching them how to recognize a frenemy?

Friendships can be REALLY confusing for kids.

Especially when someone is kind one day and hurtful the next.

When a child says, “But she’s my friend!” after describing a friendship that constantly leaves them feeling hurt, worried, left out, or unsure of themselves, it can be hard to know what to say.

Instead of immediately telling them, “That’s not a good friend,” try helping them look for patterns. ❤️

Ask:

💬 Can you be yourself around this person?
💬 Do they respect your boundaries?
💬 Can you disagree without being mean?
💬 Does the same hurtful behavior keep happening?
💬 How do you usually feel AFTER spending time with them?

Because one bad moment doesn’t make someone a bad friend.

But repeated patterns can tell us a LOT about whether a friendship is healthy.

And kids also need to know this:

❤️ You can like someone AND need space from them.
❤️ You can set a boundary without being mean.
❤️ You can change how close a friendship is.
❤️ You deserve friendships where you feel respected, valued, and safe.

Want to go deeper with these skills?

My Healthy Friendships Small Group Curriculum helps elementary students explore healthy friendships, relational aggression, red flags, communication, boundaries, conflict resolution, and more.

👇 Comment FRIEND and I’ll DM you the link to check it out on TpT!

📌 Save this carousel for your next friendship group or counseling lesson.

Anger rarely comes out of nowhere. 🌋 Before the y

Anger rarely comes out of nowhere. 🌋

Before the yelling, crying, throwing, shutting down, or BIG explosion, there’s usually a rumble.

A tight tummy.
Clenched fists.
A hot face.
A racing heart.
Fast thoughts.
That feeling of “I’m about to lose it.”

Those signals aren’t something we want kids to ignore. They’re their body’s way of saying:

“Hey... I need some help regulating.” 💜

The problem is, many kids don’t recognize the rumble until they’re already at BOOM. 💥

And even then, the anger we see on the outside may only be the top of the volcano.

Underneath might be...

💜 Hurt
💙 Embarrassment
💗 Worry
💜 Disappointment
💙 Frustration
💗 Fear
💜 Feeling left out
💙 Feeling misunderstood

Anger is often the loudest feeling, not the only feeling.

So instead of only focusing on stopping the eruption, we can teach kids to get curious about what happens before it.

🌋 What does my rumble feel like?
🌋 What might be underneath my anger?
🌋 What helps cool my volcano?
🌋 What can I do before I reach a 10?

And when an eruption DOES happen?

Calm first. Teach second.

Regulate. Reconnect. Talk about what happened. Repair what needs repairing. Then make a plan for next time.

Because big feelings don't need shame.

They need skills. 💜

And I made something FREE to help you teach them!

🌋 My Anger Volcano Calming Plan helps kids identify their warning signs, explore what's underneath their anger, choose calming strategies, and make a plan for their next rumble.

👇 COMMENT “ERUPT” and I'll send you the link!

Just enter your email and the freebie will be sent straight to your inbox. 💌

📌 Save this carousel for your next anger lesson, and send it to a counselor, teacher, or parent who could use it!

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